{"id":1061,"date":"2005-10-13T21:10:00","date_gmt":"2005-10-14T02:10:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/martinepage.com\/wp\/2005\/10\/13\/things-you-dont-want-the-food-delivery-man-to-joke-about\/"},"modified":"2005-10-13T21:10:00","modified_gmt":"2005-10-14T02:10:00","slug":"things-you-dont-want-the-food-delivery-man-to-joke-about","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.martinepage.com\/blog\/2005\/10\/13\/things-you-dont-want-the-food-delivery-man-to-joke-about\/","title":{"rendered":"Things you don&rsquo;t want the food delivery man to joke about"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It&rsquo;s rainy and cold. I have work to do and <a href=\"http:\/\/blork.typepad.com\/blorkblog\/2005\/07\/french_barbecue.html\">my personal chef<\/a> has the night off. I decide to order Chinese. The delivery man shows up and stands in the open doorway.<\/p>\n<p>Delivery man: 19.55$ please.<br \/>\nMe: Please come in. I have a cat and I don&rsquo;t want him to get out in the rain.<br \/>\nDelivery man: You have a cat, hey? If he&rsquo;s real fat, I&rsquo;ll give you 5 bucks for him.<br \/>\nMe: &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&rsquo;s rainy and cold. I have work to do and my personal chef has the night off. I decide to order Chinese. The delivery man shows up and stands in the open doorway. Delivery man: 19.55$ please. Me: Please come in. I have a cat and I don&rsquo;t want him to get out in the&hellip; <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.martinepage.com\/blog\/2005\/10\/13\/things-you-dont-want-the-food-delivery-man-to-joke-about\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Things you don&rsquo;t want the food delivery man to joke about<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.martinepage.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1061"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.martinepage.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.martinepage.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.martinepage.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.martinepage.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1061"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.martinepage.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1061\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.martinepage.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1061"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.martinepage.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1061"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.martinepage.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1061"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}