I hate chase scenes just as much as I hate fight scenes. Most of the time, when I watch a DVD on my own, I just fast-forward through the chase and fight scenes and you know what? I never miss anything. Do the test next time. Fast-forward through all the chase and fight scenes in a movie and you won’t be lost in the plot. 9 times out of 10 (okay, maybe 8), chase scenes are only there for the director (most often male) to have a little fun with shooting and editing. They seem to be tacked unto the script so that there will be something spectacular to add to the previews. Generally, chase scenes do not teach us much about characters. And most of the time, you know the outcome. The good guy/girl/dog/hobbit doesn’t get caught or if he does, he’ll be released within 15 minutes and the consequences won’t be so bad.
Last night, B. and I watched the second DVD of Lord of the Rings. I had seen the first movie on the big screen and got so impatient with it that I didn’t bother paying for the next two movies. There was hardly any story. All people do is run from point A to point B while being chased by various creatures, all dummer than the previous ones. No matter how many creatures there are, 4 hobbits, 2 funny looking characters and a couple of guys who really need to shampoo manage to kill them all every time. So why bother watching those scenes?
I know some great people who are actually fans of the LOTR movies, smart men and women, and they swore that the 2nd and the 3rd movies were much better. So when I saw that my nephews owned the DVDs, I figured I could give it another chance.
B. was holding the remote last night, so I spent part of the movie trying to convince him to fast-forward through the long and annoying chase/fight scenes. He wouldn’t hear of it, of course. Even my rant about the way cinema doesn’t seem to have evolved much since the first keystone cops chases (I worked for a film historian during my master’s degree) wouldn’t make B. press that little button with the forward arrows. He did try to mute me with the remote though, but it didn’t quite work.
The problem is, I get so impatient with chase scenes that I start rooting for the bad guys. Let that orc kick the annoying little hobbit’s ass, the one that always gets them in trouble and acts as the « comic relief ». The only relief I’ll get is when Gollum eats him. Let the Agent Smith clones beat the crap out of pretty boy Neo for a change and take over the storyline. Give me true surprise. Give me unpredictability. And don’t you dare make me run for it.