Année : 2004

Avoiding slobber

I recently blogged about the renewed art of the baise-main. Here’s more info you shouldn’t miss on the subject:

From How to kiss a lady’s hand:

A lady extends her hand, palm down, to a gentleman, who responds by slipping his fingers under hers, and � kissing his thumb. That’s right, he presses his lips to the back of his own thumb, which rests for an instant on the lady’s knuckles. Avoiding slobber: a significant consideration for a courtesy which might be extended to many gentlemen during a formal social event.

They kiss their own thumb? I feel cheated.

Also try this, from Handy guide to cavalier hand-kissing:

1. Bend over the hand, gently turn it over, and, with -dry lips-, kiss the -palm-. This implies extreme admiration for her beauty, and adoration-at-a-distance. Close the lady’s hand on the kiss, afterwards, and murmur something nice, like « I pray you, keep this as a memory of me… »

2. Bend over the hand, gently turn it over, and with as dry a tongue as you can manage, lick it. This implies extreme admiration for her beauty, and a wish for a more …. ah …. intimate aquaintance. It takes a great deal of sprezzatura (« cavalier attitude ») to carry this off well. Don’t try it unless you are confident of your ability to deliver on the implied promise…..and you are very confident the lady will not kill you on the spot. Don’t try it if you can’t « play Cavalier » very well indeed, because you will only come off as a lout otherwise.

Hard to pull off indeed. I think it would remind me of my brother’s golden retriever.

Wait, it gets even better:

The last form might be considered offensive by some. DO NOT try it unless you are on very intimate terms (not necessarily sexual!) with the lady. I have made Duchesses’ knees buckle with this one:

3. Bend over the hand, just a little, so you can look into her eyes (you will need to raise the hand a bit to do it), gently spread the fingers apart, and, with a dry tongue, and using only the tip, lick gently between two of the fingers, on the web. This is an obvious promise….DON’T do it unless you are willing and able to keep it.

I just tried this one on myself (my cat wouldn’t let me try it on him) and let me tell you, it is not easy. How do you delicately spread the fingers so that only the tip of the tongue (dry, s’il vous pla�t) reaches the web? Go ahead, try it on yourself (cleaning your hand first might help) and let me know what you think.