Things I can’t do without a man
I like to think of myself as an independent person, so I become intensely frustrated when there are things I just can’t do without a man around:
– Opening most jars.
I am absolutely pathetic at opening jars. You should see me do a frustration dance when my pasta is ready and I can’t open a jar of sauce. A few years ago, before my then boyfriend left to work for 6 months in Europe, he made sure to buy me a Canadian Tire gadget to open jars. Well, I’ve managed to find a way to damage jar lids with that tool to a point where they become impossible to open, even by a man.
– Moving big objects.
Like a 27″ television which needs to be taken to the repair shop. Damn. The tv I inherited from my dad just died on me. I think it doesn’t like my shows and misses boxing and war movies.
– Understanding the plot of heist movies and mafia movies.
« Wait a second. Who’s that guy in the dark suit and the fancy hat? Didn’t he get shot at the beginning of the movie? Why are they mad at him? »
– Killing very big bugs (or for the sensitive hearts, catching them and releasing them in the wild).
I admit any woman brave enough will do, as long as I don’t have to watch while the bug is being squished.
– Making knots.
Like the ones used on a sailboat or the ones used to hang hammocks. Untying knots is even worse.
– Finding the most direct way out of a place.
Yes, yes, I fit the clich� of the « woman with no sense of direction ». But I don’t get lost when I travel on my own; I just don’t take the most direct way back to the hotel.
– Forgetting about a few extra pounds.
Or How I learned to stop worrying and love the curves.
The rest I can usually take care of myself. Or find a girlfriend to give me a hand… (no, I don’t mean it THAT way!)
