Ed and I often talk about how amazed we are at the amount of attention children get from adults these days (yeah, that’s the kind of stuff a childless couple talks about over dinner – go figure). Neither one of us ever had a parent who sat down on the ground to play Barbies or Legos with us, and when adults gathered for Easter or Christmas, the kids were sent away to play amongst themselves, the farther from the adults, the better. We had to face the facts at a pretty young age: we weren’t the center of the world. While the lesson might have been harsh at first, I have to admit we got over it pretty quickly and it was a useful concept to learn and to carry with us for our future relationships, personal or professional.
From age 16 to 20, I worked summers and weekends as a city camp counselor. I had to take care of 35 girls, watch over them, entertain them and teach them sports, new games, crafts, etc. I guess you could say I got that out of my system at a young age and after I quit that job, I didn’t feel the need to be the entertainer for children anymore. But as an adult, every time I felt annoyed at having to play with a kid, I started feeling guilty. Shouldn’t I be more enthusiastic about Legos, Transformers, or playing ball with a 3 year-old who can’t return it properly? Isn’t it good for me to get back in touch with my inner child in the company of a toddler? And if it’s supposed to be beneficial to the two of us, why am I so damn bored so quickly?
According to this article, I shouldn’t have felt guilty at all.
American-style parent-child play is a distinct feature of wealthy developed countries — a recent byproduct of the pressure to get kids ready for the information-age economy, Lancy argues in a recent article in American Anthropologist, the field’s flagship journal in the United States. […]
One inspiration for the article, Lancy says, was that he kept coming across accounts of parents who felt guilty that they did not enjoy playing with their children. The psychologist Daniel Kahneman and the economist Alan Krueger, both at Princeton, have found that parents routinely claim that playing with their kids is among their favorite activities, but when you ask them to record their state of mind, hour by hour, they rate time spent with their children as being about as much fun as housework.
From Boston.com, Leave those kids alone: The idea that adults should be playing with their kids is a modern invention — and not necessarily a good one.